no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
