do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
