a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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