im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
