I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
