Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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