why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
