Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
