i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I need a burrito and a hug.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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