yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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