I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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