Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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