Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
