you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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