I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
