My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
