woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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