the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You've changed since you got that strap on
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
