he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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