Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Is Oprah even human
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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