What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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