You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i drank out of a bidet.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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