Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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