If i come over, it means nothing
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
