Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
