i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
