They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
