I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
