Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
