this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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