You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
