Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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