Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
