she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
