Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize