Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
