So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We were destined to go to rehab together
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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