Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
