So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
