Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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