He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
