I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
