Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
