I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
