we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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