i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
