She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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