So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
