I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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