If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
