so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
