What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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