Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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