Well apparently he's into motor boating.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
