This girl is more easily done than said...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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