he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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