come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
