dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
