That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
