I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
