I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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