her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
