Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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