College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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