so explain again why im purple
no
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
