Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
