You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
