You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
