Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
