he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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